The new week has started. After a long hard weekend of work, finally the week is here. It is almost enjoyable knowing the week is starting just because I know it means it is that much closer to the next weekend. I find it odd about myself, how I am always looking forward to something else. To be content is definitely a difficult task. From small things to big things, it feels like everything is just pushing forward to the impending doom of being over so that something new can start.
Most of all, I think school is the most difficult to be content in. Don’t get me wrong, I love being in school, I love academia; it is just the feeling of knowing that I am practically trapped here and I need to finish before I can start something else. That is probably why it is hard for me to be content – I am too much of a spontaneous person. So the feeling of having a task with a deadline, or having something that needs to be finished (i.e. my bachelors degree) is a very demoralizing feeling. I am close though, I can taste the finish line. I am coming up to my last semester in the Spring. Hopefully it will by my last, that is – if I do choose to add a second major to my degree, that will be another whole semester. Decisions make it even more difficult to deal with. Not only do I have to wait to be done with school, but I have to choose whether or not I need to wait longer. Overall, I think the real question is if its worth it.
I often look at my college career wondering if it has been worth it. I know I have made a lot of good friends and I have experienced a lot being here. At the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that I could be doing something more worth my while. I would rather be out in the world making some sort of difference now instead of waiting for my school to be done. At the same time, with more education I may be of more use. Often I hear people say how “we cannot really impact or change the world so why try.” I beg to differ though, I think that is exactly the reason there are problems. Anyways, I am getting too serious for right now, I will put that topic on the back burner for another time. All in all, I would just like to feel like I am not totally wasting my time at school, I need to be a part of something radically different.